When life doesn't go the way I planned

Everyday I didn’t expect time is very fast.

8 years ago it was the same with what I was doing right now with my life.

I got stuck with social media because I’m always online on facebook.

I use friendster way back when I was in Highschool and College but I was never been this addict when I had my facebook back in 2008.

But I wasn’t really that active when I first had facebook because most people back then use friendster/myspace/multiply.

I still have an active social life when I was studying before.

But when I graduated I spent most of the time with my family in my parents office and at home.

And when I am bored I always scroll to my newsfeed and check it everyday.

I only have minimal time spending with a close friend or former classmates.

I did not really like my course in College and I did not really like working with my parents because they are very over protective and strict.

I decided to follow my dreams because I had a feeling even before that I wanted to become a flight attendant because I don’t like when my parents are controlling my life and I want to travel and meet new people that’s why even before I want to become a cabin crew.

So when I started to apply with Zest Airways I had no idea what its like applying for a cabin crew.

I experience my first rejection then I tried again in other airline which is Air Philippines Express, Kalibo then I failed again. Then another airline I tried Cebu Pacific Air I failed again. Then I tried Philippine Airlines I failed again. Then its Philippines’ Airasia I failed again….

I did not realize whenever I keep trying with different airlines time has been wasted I still have no job.

So after 5 years I have been close minded for cabin crew job only I tried ground attendant/CSA position.

Back in 2015 I passed my interview at Topserve Manpower Solutions, Inc. under cebu pacific at Amvel City.

I was so excited but during the training I struggled to catch up maintaining a passing grade. Usually if someone fails the exam there is no re-take anymore and there will be an elimination.

I got depressed that I wasn’t able to make it.

When I was 26 years old I tried to enroll to an FA school and see if this could help me get a job as a flight attendant. Although it helped me learn what its like to become a flight attendant but there is no guarantee of landing a job as a cabin crew.

So i started to be open minded now with other jobs like call centers. When I was 27 years old my very first job ever outside the family business was SYKES Alabang Town Center.

I tried to work for until 8 months only because I did not became a regular employee.

After that I have a hard time finding a regular job that isn’t my dream job.

I also had another experience reaching to the training of Skylogistics Phil for ground attendant/CSA however the exam again was very difficult I failed. There is no re-take exam so I have no choice but to find again another job.

But when there are cabin crew hirings posted online in my mind I was saying… “Here I go again”

I became close minded again with this dreams job. I spent almost 2 years applying in different airlines but I still have no luck again.

I felt the difficult of competitive applicants especially that my height is too short I still keep on pushing myself to try and try and try and try and try……..

Until I have a heartache 

I turned 29 this year and I get to help many people from the group and page I created. Even if I helped too much to others I couldn’t help myself anymore.

I get irritated sometimes with spoonfeeding people but I still tried to answer their questions.

I felt blessed at the same time when there are people from the airline company noticed me and got inspired with me that’s why there is a mentorship class, a free pass from cabin crew party and a backer from the airline that I thought I was losing hope already since I tried so many times in all different kinds of airlines in the Philippines.

Even if there is no age limit in the job that I have been dreaming of there is an age limit with planning to get married and having my own family someday but how can I start to search for the one for me?

I’m getting old… things are getting tougher now a days… I haven’t had that much work experience aside from a family business that I only get 500 allowance a week from my parents and a call center that I wasn’t able to become a regular employee.

A lot from my batchmates have so many experiences now with their lives. Some of them have their own family. Some became successful with their current jobs. Some are travelling and some were able to become cabin crews 8 years ago when I started applying with Zest air.

I just don’t know what to do anymore with my life. Adding up my brother who discourages me every single day of my life and telling that I’m always stupid and telling my that cabin crew is not for me why can’t I stop?

My real life right now I don’t really have that much friends eversince I was young. I get bullied in school before and I’m always alone. I never had a boyfriend since birth. I never introduce any guy to my parents. I sneak out to date someone because I’m still not allowed to and I’m almost 30 years old. None of the guys I met were that serious for a relationship and so am I because I still have no job and I’m not financially stabled to plan for my future.

But anyways…. Maybe I shouldn’t force myself to apply for cabin crew here in the Philippines. I already have given enough and I think its time now to find other ways to save money and plan on going abroad even if my parents are still very strict.